so Im really worried, DA. Life is actually good for me right now. I'm all good with all of my friends, I have made some very good friends already this school year, and my grades are good with no real effort.
so sooon will come the disaster that will ruin everything, like it always does when life is actually something I enjoy waking up to.
so why am I writing this journal? because I need to have some record of the hypothesis I've formed,

I like somebody a lot right now, and usually when i go for it, and try to make something of it,
things fall to crap in my entire being. It isn't that I let myself get torn to piees by the rejection, it's just that everybody else in my life starts up drama and I get sucked into it, things at home get worse, and my grades fall because of it all.
and it all starts with simple teenaged affection.

so this is my proof for later that I had forseen the world falling down around me, when it actually occures.
Time to watch, time to wait.